June 20, 2011

Love?

Monday, 20.06.2011
05:23 AM


I can't help myself for being such a bloody helpless and hopeless romance victim. Yes, you can say that I'm a dramatic girl. Though my life is so far far away from those happily-ever-after fairy tales, from those forever-and always love story in novels, but admit it, I grow up with these kind of stuffs. I spent my childhood watching Disney Princess; Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, and many more. My teenagers? I read a bunch (like A LOT LOT LOT!) of romantic novels. I happened to re-read several novels for like maybe 5 times in a month. I marked my favorite parts (which mostly are the romantic one), and memorized them. I often imagine to be the main character. Not only novels, I also watch plenty of chick-flick movies in my spare time. This is how I'm growing up.

My lovey-dovey fairy tales imaginations apparently don't come in real life. Love story in real life is slightly different from those. I definitely need to reset my mindset about the term 'love story', 'happily-ever-after', and 'forever-and-always'.

Being a total romance victim, I'm very good at crying when it comes to heart break story. Not only mine, but also others! I often cry when my friend broke up. I even cried when this guy I barely know being dumped by his girlfriend. I cry every time I watch drama series, especially when the couple kissed, hugged each other, and finally getting married. Yes, you can say that I'm a teary person. I'm easily touched when it comes to love story.

Looking to my real love story, I learn that love can't be defined. Love is something you feel. It is an unexpected feeling that silently creeping into your heart without you even realize it. You will fall deeply in love even before you realize it. I'm definitely not a master of love. In fact, I suck at love. People know how sucks my love story is. For me, loving is about accepting, giving, and letting go. Love needs time. Time is the one who will reveals love. You will never know how the person who is currently your friend will be the person you cry for in the future. You will never guess who will be the person you have your heart beating for in the future. I guess this is how love grows. Maybe there's no happily-ever-after, maybe there's no forever-and-always. But maybe, just maybe, there is happily-ever-after, and there is forever-and-always. I can't really tell.

As much as I love building my own lovey-dovey and fairy tales stories in my mind, I now understand that love in real life is not as simple as those. I've been in several heart breaks and I still can't tell how love works.

I guess, I will just wait til I understand it :)

Much love,
Xoxo

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