July 12, 2016

Diary of a Sleepless Child

In the early years of our life, people often ask what our hobby is. And my answers will always change over time. Primary-School me claimed cycling as a hobby, simply because I spent most of my free times after school riding my bicycle around the block. And, ehm... My achievement was riding bicycle with both of my hands up for 2 laps, lol.

As I grew older, my hobby evolved to reading. Why? Because instead of just cycling around the block, Junior-High-School me loved to ride the bicycle to the bookstore nearby. Then I will spend hours and hours and hours reading comics and novels for free! Don't ask me how, but I always managed not to get caught by security for silently unwrapping those plastics and hiding them under the bookshelf. (P.S: I didn't do it all by myself. My cousins were always there to cooperate. We were like the ultimate brats back then ;))

Then, entering Senior High School moment, I had more pocket money so I could finally buy and collect all the romance novels I love. During those period of times, my friends at school always borrowed novels from me (and some of the books never came back *cry*). I'm pretty confident to say that it was because I have bought almost every single novels in Gramedia. Among all the novels I read, I was really obsessed with this one Indonesian novel called Lukisan Hujan by Sitta Karina. So, moving on, my next hobby after reading is writing!

I went crazy over Sitta Karina, that I decided to become a writer! I started learning from her, re-reading all her novels for idk how many times, and finally trying to write my own piece. So far I have written lots of short stories, poems, random thoughts, 2 (unfinished) novels, and well... this blog. I continued to write til I was in University. This writing thingy is actually my most serious and long-term hobby.

Now, if people ask me what my hobby is, my answer will also be different. I don't think writing is my hobby anymore (you can already tell by looking at this long-forgotten blog), nor cycling and reading #obviously!

According to dictionary, hobby is an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure. To be honest, as what I have already mentioned before, I have no hobby. But, there is actually one thing I really love to do in my leisure time; sleeping! Hahaha. I mean, who doesn't?! In fact, all the shits you read above are just the intros to my main point, which is I love sleeping. 

Too bad, I have been lacking of sleep these past weeks (if not months). Last night, I didn't sleep at all. And the other night, I slept at 6 AM and woke up at 7 AM for God's sake. Don't say that I didn't try, I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING TO MAKE MY GODDAMN EYES SHUT!! Well maybe not everything, I haven't tried the sleeping pills, and I don't think I ever will. 

I have tried drinking hot milk beforehand, drinking Tolak Angin, Actifed, Vicks Formula 44, keeping my phone as far away as possible, listening to lullaby (which is a bit scary to be honest, the melody was like some cemetery soundtrack wtf), I even tried this 'How to Fall Asleep in 1 Minute' method I got from Facebook. But none of those work! I'm getting a little bit stressed because of this sleep deprivation.

If any of you guys know how to solve this problem of mine, please do tell me! :(

I... Need... Sleep...

The Sleepless Child

May 27, 2016


Hi guys, I'm back! 

Today I'm gonna share some tips to avoid boredom during work time. If you happen to be a very efficient person who always got your work done earlier, or perhaps you're one of those lazy-ass employees, I think these tips are for you. (But, if you're the second one, you might want to keep it a secret from your boss, tho...)


So, let's get started...! 

1. Play with your phone. 

  • Open those notifications that you've been ignoring for the past hours. Reply all chats and try to keep the conversations going on (trust me this is one of the most time-consuming things you can do!). 

  •  Scroll through your Path's timeline to know what your friends are up to. Plus, if you're lucky enough, you might get inspiration on what to eat for dinner. 

  • Stalk everyone on Instagram! And by everyone, I mean EVERYONE! You can start by scrolling through the homepage, make a stop every time you find something interesting, then don't forget to go back and continue the scrolling. Coz you gotta finish what you started, riteeee? ;)

  • If you're on Snapchat, don't forget to check out if they have new filters. Take some selfies or videos, send them to your bestfriends so the 'fire' won't go away, and last but not least, watch all of your friends' stories! Remember, those stories will only be there for 24 hours. So every second counts, guys. I bet all the Snapchat Whores will understand this point very well. #VirtualHighFive

  • And, the last thing you can do with your phone is.... Candy Crush! Haha. Sorry I know this is so last year. But you gotta admit that Candy Crush is the best escape when boredom strikes, huh? Yeah anyway, you can always play another games if you're not really into Candy Crush.

 2. Put your phone down, move to your computer, and find other interesting stuff!

  • Remember those golden era of Facebook? Yes, during office hours, Facebook will forever and always be on its golden era! Just scroll through your timeline, read all of those click-bait articles, watch all those funny videos of dog playing with dolls, or fathers with babies, or whatever it is that suits you. Facebook has plenty, guyssss! Oh, oh! Let's not forgetting those friends who always post interesting status! Yay, gotta laugh 'em. I mean, love.
  • YouTube! Who needs TV nowadays when we have YouTube? Don't we all love YouTube? So, let's get basic and start with some karaoke session first! Turn your speaker on, and... if your office room allows, SING OUT LOUD! Then, once you're tired or run out of songs, just open your Subscriptions tab and start watching all the new videos. (By the way, if you haven't subscribed to anyone, please please please for the love of God, just make use of that Subscriptions tab. Trust me, it will save you a lot of time. You're gonna thank me. So, your welcome.)

So, that's it. What do you think?

And now that I'm done listing everything, and the more I think about it, I guess my tips are not so helpful. Everybody does that everyday anyway. So... LOL.

I better run away. Ciao!


April 25, 2016

K-Pop Fever

Let me share you my current favorite Korean songs! Basically these songs are EVERYWHERE in Korea! Whenever I came in to any stores (drugstores, cosmetic stores, malls, restaurants, even the street food tents!), these songs are on their playlist. To be honest I'm not a K-Pop hardcore fan, I don't know the names of the members, and even if I know, I'm pretty sure I can't tell which one is which hahaha. 
But hey.... It's okay right??? At least I already have this special bond with all Korean-related thingy these past years. And to top all my obsession up, I finally made it to Seoul to listen all those songs fresh from the origin lol!!!! (I promise I'll go back to Korea again :))

So, let's start!

1. Apink(에이핑크) - The Wave(네가 손짓해주면)

2. GFriend (여자친구)  -  Me Gustas Tu (오늘부터 우리는)

3. Descendants of the Sun OST - Always

4. Descendants of the Sun OST - You Are My Everything

 5. Descendants of the Sun OST - Talk Love (말해! 뭐해?)

6. AOA (크림) - Baby / I’m Jelly Baby (질투 나요)

7. 4MINUTE(포미닛) - Hate (싫어)


 8. TWICE (트와이스) - Ooh-Ahh (하게)


That's all for now!!
What do you think? Do you have other K-Pop songs I should listen to? Please do give some recommendations, I'm all ears ;)



April 23, 2016

Some Things Just Never Change


I am in the mood for writing these days. But frankly I don't have anything good to write about. As years passed by, I can now conclude that I'm not a good writer. I'll just bury my dream to be a writer then. Haha! Actually, I'm thinking to write about my holiday to South Korea last week, but not now.

So, I just scrolled through my Instagram feeds, and I found my post from 2014

Basically I just posted my childhood photo and jotted down 20 facts about me. Now that I read those list, I can tell that nothing significant has changed eventho it's been 2 years! I'm still the same person as before! Hahahaha. 

Let's review!!!

1. I have no hobbies. Coz I love doing random stuff. 
Also, no life plan, no passion, and no dreams. My life is pretty random in general.

2. I love pink, Hello Kitty, & cute stuffs; typical normal girls! 
And Brown & Cony, and Gudetama, haha!

3. I'm not afraid of cockroach.

4. My fave drink is Ice Lemon Tea.

5. Unlike other girls, I don't wash my hair everyday. Twice/thrice a week is enough. Because washing hair is kinda a pain in the ass for me. It's tiring and it takes me more than 2,5 hour to get it done. #HairProblem 

6. I can't live without my straightening iron! (which explains point number 5) 

7. I honestly hate jeans.

8. Punctuation mistake is prolly my biggest pet peeve. I once wanted to be an Editor just because of this! I love correcting sentence structure, spacing, capital letter, quotation marks, parenthesis, etc. But no, not grammar mistakes, coz I'm not yet capable to be a Grammar Nazi. Lol. 
Still obsessed about this. Can I really just be an Editor?!

9. I'm socially awkward. I'm not comfortable meeting new people. I'm neither an introvert, nor an extrovert. I personally think I can be both!
Haha, my current job recently needed me to act as a spoke-person and to meet new people everyday and greet them. And guess what, I always get stressed every single time! It's been 3 months and I still can't get used to it. But, on the other hand, I talked to some new people outside office, and they all said that I am a very happy person who can always cheer them up, always give them positive aura. They all said I am so 'heboh' and 'bawel'. Strange huh?

10. I'm very picky! Especially in food. 

11. I hate being alone. I can't eat alone. I can't go to the mall alone. I can't shop alone. I can't be home alone. I don't like doing things by myself! 
Update! Update! Yeayy! Since I live alone now, I am forced to do several things all by myself. So yeah, I can go to the mall alone now. I can also eat in food court alone. 

12. I have trust issue. I'm a paranoid and insecure person. Believe me, I can never trust anybody wholeheartedly.

13. To be honest, I can never enjoy the taste of alcohol (beer, liquor, wine, you name it). But I enjoy drinking AND DANCING! I guess you can call me a social drinker.
Lol, the last time I went to the club, I was drunk like crazy. It was a month ago; me, my friends, and my cousins went to Fable & Blowfish. We sorta club-hopping, but I actually didn't drink that much. I can't remember clearly, but I did puke a lot, and I woke up very hungover. But still managed to go to church after. Haha.

14. I never smoke. Not even when I'm drunk.

15. Sorry to say, but I'm very ignorant. Especially to animals. I don't find animals need to be taken care of. No offense, pet lovers. But I don't hate them!! Puppies are still cute hehe. 
#FunFact: I actually went to a dog cafe at Hong Dae, Seoul. Even my friends surprised because I hugged a Labrador. HAHA!

16. I talk 'unyu' in daily basis. I love talking like kiddies. Lol, I know I'm 23, but I still do it anyway. 
Uhm, 25 now. And still doing it. Sorry not sorry :')

17. I love giving names! Not in a bad term of course. I just unintentionally created names for my friends, then it spontaneously became popular! Haha.

18. I prefer salt / sour than sweet.

19. My parents are not strict. They allow me to do anything. I can go home at anytime, even at 3 in the morning! I can say that I have a pretty free teenage life.

20. I'm a happy-go-lucky girl!

To be honest, I think this list will stay more or less the same forever. What do you think? Sorry but I'm just uniquely me. I love not being your ordinary Jessica. I love being me!

Much love!


November 29, 2015

Love Yourself

It's almost year end and I start to think of my life. And if there's one thing that I can highlight from this year is that I should love myself more. Why, you ask? Now here's why...

These past months have been so depressing for me. There are times when I almost believed that I wouldn't even able to live the next day. My days and nights were filled with hatred, fear, but mostly tears. Crying inside the toilet during lunch break at office? Checked! Crying in the mall? Checked! And checked! (Yes, did that twice already.) Crying before sleep? Checked! 

It's like I'm having a mental breakdown. I might seem happy. But I've been hurt. Real bad. People keep hurting me like I am not even entitled for happiness at all. Then I start asking,... What's happiness anyway? Everything in this life is just so temporary. 

They said happiness should come from yourself so that it can never be taken away. Because if you depend your happiness to something, or someone, well just imagine how your life will be when that thing or that someone is gone. Happiness comes more easily when you feel good about yourself, and that's the exact thing I don't have right now; good feeling about myself.

Long story short, I have been unhappy. Very very unhappy.

I keep living this unhappy life because, sadly, I accept the life I think I deserve. 

I don't love myself that much to think that I deserve to be loved by others.
I don't love myself that much to think that I deserve to have a perfect job.
I don't love myself that much to think that I deserve to live a happy life. 

I used to be ignorant about life. To be sad, to be happy, what's the point? My goal in life is just to live it day by day, to survive each passing day with no drama. But now that I think more about it, my ignorant behavior has been so unhealthy. 

So that's why I have to start loving myself. I need to believe that I deserve to live a happy life, without depending my happiness to something or someone in particular.
Sorry for this galau and so-drama-queen post. Just wanting to express what's in my heart coz I have no one to share (and no one will understand too anyway). Also sorry if there are too many grammar and sentence structure mistakes. I usually check my writing for 5-10 times before posting it. But I don't even re-check anything this time. So, well, this is kinda like my original writing.


September 8, 2015

Better Version of You

Being a very impatient person when it comes to YouTube ads, I always get annoyed whenever I cannot skip them. But to be honest, this one ad I'm about to tell you guys is totally mind-blowing I didn't even skip it! It only took me less than 20 seconds to be emotionally attached to this ad. It's not some touchy or heart-melting ads like those Thai ads you often saw being reposted on your Facebook timeline. For me, this one is more like a personal reflection ad.

The video started with an unexpected meeting of 2 long-lost friends. It's been 10 years since the last time they met and the guy said to his friend, "You haven't changed at all!" Boom! Guys, that sentence right there, is the whole point of this ad!

Have you ever think that the sentence 'You haven't changed at all' is actually really bad?

This ad teaches us that surely those are not the words we want to hear from an old friend. After several years parted, we would love them to say "Hey, I almost did not recognize you!" instead of "You haven't changed at all!" Because to be honest none of us are willing to stay the same, and none of us are willing to stay at the same place forever. We all want to change, to move forward! We want what we have today to be a foundation for what we will create tomorrow. And at the end, we all want to be a better version of ourselves, to be able to achieve our dreams in the future.

You can watch the video here:

For those who know me personally, you must have known what kind of person I actually am. Probably I'm your most stable friend ever. My life is basically just a series of repetitive events, like super flat with nothing interesting in it. When people ask, "How's life, Jess?"  My answer would be, "Nothing much, same old same old." Ask me today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, I guarantee that you will always get the same answer from me. 

Now, do I want to stay the same forever? To be the person with no dreams, no future plans, no nothing. Do I really want to have this flat life for as long as I live? Living day by day doing the same routines, no excitement, nothing to look for. To be honest this really confuses me...

This one friend of mine once asked me, "What's your value in life?" Then I answered, "What the heck, I don't even know it. What's the point anyway?" Then he concluded that my value is no value. My other friend said that the problem is I haven't found my true identity (which explained my happy-go-lucky post where I said I never think of the future & only want to live in the present).

Between me and you, I honestly don't want to be this version of me. Yeah, this kind of life actually bores me, big time! I want to wake up feeling excited, to go to work doing the job I love. I want to befriend with so many people, chilling and hanging out with different groups of friends every week. I want to be exhausted for not having me-time. I want to have hectic week where home is more like a place for sleep-crashing. I want to experience new things every day. I want to have so many stories to tell that my friends can't catch me up anymore. I want to do things I really love, not some shitty routines. I want people to tell me how much I've changed, even though it's just been a while.

The thing is, I really don't know where to start. I'm trapped in this situation where I'm forced to accept the fate and just do all things I'm doing now. I really want to runaway, or maybe do that eat-pray-love thingy and meditate somewhere by myself. Hoping to get some enlightenment in this near time, coz time flies and I need to get going asap. Or I'll end up dying in desperation. Lol.

Just like my other posts, my writing has no conclusion. And it's kinda anti climax. Whatever.


July 7, 2015

All About Your Heart

I don’t mind your odd behavior
It’s the very thing I love
If you were an ice cream flavor
You would be my favorite one
My imagination sees you
Like a painting by Van Gogh
Starry nights and bright sunflowers
Follow you where you may go
Oh, I’ve loved you from the start
In every single way
And more each passing day
You are brighter than the stars
Believe me when I say
It’s not about your scars
It’s all about your heart
You’re a butterfly held captive
Small and safe in your cocoon
Go on you can take your time
Time is said to heal all wounds
Like a lock without a key
Like a mystery without a clue
There is no me if I cannot have you
I super love this song, especially its sweet lyric!